


Gratuitous

by Queen_Cuntpunt



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Holiday, Krumione - Freeform, Nudes, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:01:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29659326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Cuntpunt/pseuds/Queen_Cuntpunt
Summary: This certainly wasn't the imagery Hermione was expecting...
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Viktor Krum
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43
Collections: Krumione ABC's





	Gratuitous

**Author's Note:**

> Writing a quickie before work for the best Ship.

In a way she supposed she could blame Ginny. Ginny who upon seeing her new apartment decided she needed to improve her decoration with the trashiest of accessories. Ginny who thought it would be hilarious to replace her traditional, to the point, calendar with the tacky yearly muscle rag sold by the Bulgarian Quidditch team. Ginny who decided it would be even more hilarious if she magicked away all of Viktor's teammates faces and superimposed his onto all of their bodies. Ginny who magicked the poster to say "Flip to December for a truly magical time!" whenever somebody walked by it.

Honestly, if it wasn't for the last part this never would have happened. The calendar was fairly tame really. Just the standard shirtless pictures of players winking on brooms, and one somewhat flirty picture of the teams keeper holding two quaffles against his crotch. Truth be told even Viktor's December picture was modest, or it had been before her best friend had decided otherwise.

Now Viktor's December picture was still modest, if you were deaf. Nowadays her calendar could possibly give the Black portrait a run for her money when it came to chatter. At least this image didn't shout slurs at her, instead opting to 'compliment' her in ways that would have her ready to hex a stranger. It was for this reason that even on the 21st of December she had kept her calendar set to November. A few more days, and hopefully the sticking charm her friend had used would fade away and she could get a calendar Harry wouldn't play with to embarrass her. 

Maybe she shouldn't have blamed Ginny completely, surely the Christmas party and all the drinking didn't help. After all, Viktor wouldn't have ever even known if he hadn't come over. Nine days to go, and of course she had to be side-apparated home by her former crush because she drank too much after Ron and Lavender's special announcement. 

To his credit he ignored the calendars call out when they first entered. Focused on carrying her to her room and laying her on her bed without disturbing the many sheets of parchment she had left their from her leisure study earlier. Hermione wished she could laugh away the situation, as he shot a questioning glance her as the calendar called out upon his return with a glass of water from her kitchen, but her stomach was rolling and she wasn't sure she could say anything without emptying the contents of her stomach. 

"Perfect, get on your back and I'll do all the work like its the World Cup." It was Viktor's voice but through squinted eyes she could just barely see his jaw dropped and his hand lifted to the calendar on the wall. She could only hope he had drank enough to forget this whole situation too. 

Even if her wish didn't come true, after all Ginny had assured her on Christmas Eve that Viktor hadn't touched a single drink that evening, he at least had the good graces to not say anything as they crossed paths again at Harry and Ginny's holiday party tonight. In fact he was a perfect gentleman, had sat with her, chatted with her, and even tried dancing with her to some muggle music Harry was playing much to his wife's dismay. This time she was even sober enough to send herself home and avoid any further embarrassment, a feat mostly made possible by the absence of her ex-boyfriend and ex-roomate. 

It was while walking to the edge of the wards to apparate that he pulled her aside and procured a tiny gift from his cloak pocket. The initial size of which terrified her, reminding her of Ron's immediate and unwanted proposal after the battle. But he pulled his wand and the gift regained its size, expanding itself into a less frightening form, much larger than a jewelry box but much too light for the books most people had gifted her for the holidays. 

"Viktor, the gifts were supposed to go under the tree."

"I thought it would be best if you opened that alone." Was all the explanation he gave at her, pressing a kiss to her hand. "I hope we see each other again soon." He added, apparating away on the spot.

Hermione popped her way home immediately after, it was unlike him to leave so abruptly, she had always known him to wait until his companions had all apparated before leaving himself. The flush of his cheeks had also concerned her. Maybe she had read him wrong, maybe he was thinking about that stupid calendar and being alone with her, truly alone outside, had made him uncomfortable.

Hermione shook her head to rid herself of those nasty thoughts. Since the war had been over him and Harry had grown their friendship, if anyone would know it was a prank it had to be him, he and Ginny had spent far too much time together for him not to at least guess that was the case. Also, he clearly wasn't too uncomfortable, considering he did spend the whole party glued to her side. Hell if Rita Skeeter had been a beetle on the wall in that party she would already be writing the article about how Hermione was back to brewing love potions and enslaving the man. 

Nasty thoughts abolished she readjusted her focus to the gift in her hands, carefully peeling the shimmery paper away until she could clearly make out the gift within.

Bulgarian BonBons 2022

She was confused. Had Viktor seen the altered calendar in her room and confusedly thought she wanted the one for next year? Did he gift it to her because he was the cover piece for the year? He did look handsome, she could admit it. There was a certain seductive posture to him and the way he gripped his broom on the cover, the gradual slide up and down the brooms shaft as he flew in an endless loop. 

she flipped to the first page, curious what new image would be gracing her wall after two months of the keeper and his quaffles. She immediately flipped to February instead a bright blush exploding across her face as she quickly flipped to March, April, and May before dropping the calendar completely and covering it with her pillow. 

Suggestive was not the word for this calendar. It was far from suggestive. There was nothing subtle about it. It was all raunchy and depraved, and after the cover there was very little cover, and it was all Viktor. Viktor naked, and unashamed, and bearing it all for the magical camera. She stood up and began to pace, unsure why on earth this was a thing. He had always had fans, but she had never imagined he would sell-out quite like this, and why would he think she was one of those fans. Clearly he didn't understand that the calendar was a prank. She wasn't sure how she could face him again, how she could look at him and not think about that picture in the locker rooms with the water cascading down his body.

"Flip to December for a truly magical time!" The guilty calendar shouted as her pacing brought her too close. She froze in place, December. This wouldn't have happened if he didn't flip to December. With shaking hands she reached beneath her pillow to retrieve her gift, opening from the back to see what was on the pages for December, expecting another lewd display. The actual image shocked her to her core.

Instead of the provocative imagery from the initial months December was a normal picture. Well normal comparatively. It was them, a photo snapped of them dancing at Bill and Fleur's wedding. Both of them spinning in an obviously uncoordinated mess on the dance floor, but their smiles bright and sincere. Both his eyes passionately meeting hers. "I am ready for more magical times like this" Scrawled neatly across the corner of the image. 

Hermione ran her hands over the words confused. Why was this photo here? Wouldn't his fans be furious to see December was a personal picture and not one of the nudes from months prior? It hit her like a bludger. This was not a yearly calendar made for his fans, it was a calendar made just for her. 

Lewd, depraved, gratuitous, and just for her. She would have to ask Ginny to replicate her sticking charm...

**Author's Note:**

> Krumione ABC Challenge. Its slow going but I will add content to this relationship even if it kills me. 
> 
> If you have any Krumione prompts/ideas you wanna see drop them in the comments.  
> If you liked it tell me what you liked in the comments  
> If you hated it tell me what you hated.


End file.
